Comments on: To what extent is the groom’s mother generally involved in wedding planning? http://www.laceweddingdress.org/questions/to-what-extent-is-the-grooms-mother-generally-involved-in-wedding-planning Thu, 11 Mar 2010 18:37:07 -0600 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.6 hourly 1 By: ?Chancey? http://www.laceweddingdress.org/questions/to-what-extent-is-the-grooms-mother-generally-involved-in-wedding-planning/comment-page-1#comment-334 ?Chancey? Sat, 28 Nov 2009 03:44:34 +0000 http://www.laceweddingdress.org/questions/to-what-extent-is-the-grooms-mother-generally-involved-in-wedding-planning#comment-334 As far as I know, they don't do any planning at all. But its modern times, and it is nice (if their nice!) for them to get involved, especially if they have no daughter. As far as I know, they don’t do any planning at all. But its modern times, and it is nice (if their nice!) for them to get involved, especially if they have no daughter.

]]> By: Dory http://www.laceweddingdress.org/questions/to-what-extent-is-the-grooms-mother-generally-involved-in-wedding-planning/comment-page-1#comment-333 Dory Sat, 28 Nov 2009 03:43:12 +0000 http://www.laceweddingdress.org/questions/to-what-extent-is-the-grooms-mother-generally-involved-in-wedding-planning#comment-333 Its really down to the couple. My son is getting married next year to a really wonderful girl. I would never presume to be involved but luckily she has involved me in everything and for this I feel truly honoured. As it turns out I am making her dress as well as the bridesmaid dresses and waistcoats for my son and best man. I am also making the wedding cake and favours. I bought my children up as a single parent, but remarried a couple of years ago. I am not in a position to give much financially, but by doing what I am I am saving them a small fortune. My other son got married 2 years ago and I was involved but not to the extent that I am now. I made his wedding cake and favours and was asked my opinion on food etc. Its really down to the couple. My son is getting married next year to a really wonderful girl. I would never presume to be involved but luckily she has involved me in everything and for this I feel truly honoured. As it turns out I am making her dress as well as the bridesmaid dresses and waistcoats for my son and best man. I am also making the wedding cake and favours. I bought my children up as a single parent, but remarried a couple of years ago. I am not in a position to give much financially, but by doing what I am I am saving them a small fortune. My other son got married 2 years ago and I was involved but not to the extent that I am now. I made his wedding cake and favours and was asked my opinion on food etc.

]]> By: Kirstie B http://www.laceweddingdress.org/questions/to-what-extent-is-the-grooms-mother-generally-involved-in-wedding-planning/comment-page-1#comment-332 Kirstie B Sat, 28 Nov 2009 03:07:27 +0000 http://www.laceweddingdress.org/questions/to-what-extent-is-the-grooms-mother-generally-involved-in-wedding-planning#comment-332 It's really up to the bride. Personally, I know when the time come I'll want my boyfriend's mom to be involved, because I really do love her and think the world of her. Also, she has two sons and no daughters - she will never get to have the fun of being mother of the bride. How could I possibly exclude her from the fun things like dress fittings and stuff, when I know she's always thought of me as a daughter from day one? (And we're not even engaged yet!) Even if you're not super close to your FMIL, it might be nice to include her at least somewhat - she'll be family soon, and it's a nice gesture. It’s really up to the bride. Personally, I know when the time come I’ll want my boyfriend’s mom to be involved, because I really do love her and think the world of her. Also, she has two sons and no daughters – she will never get to have the fun of being mother of the bride. How could I possibly exclude her from the fun things like dress fittings and stuff, when I know she’s always thought of me as a daughter from day one? (And we’re not even engaged yet!)

Even if you’re not super close to your FMIL, it might be nice to include her at least somewhat – she’ll be family soon, and it’s a nice gesture.

]]> By: lazeny http://www.laceweddingdress.org/questions/to-what-extent-is-the-grooms-mother-generally-involved-in-wedding-planning/comment-page-1#comment-331 lazeny Sat, 28 Nov 2009 02:38:42 +0000 http://www.laceweddingdress.org/questions/to-what-extent-is-the-grooms-mother-generally-involved-in-wedding-planning#comment-331 I always though that both sets of parents are somehow included one way or the other on the whole thing - be it large or small. However, my man doesn't like his mom to be involved in planning (or anything that has to do w/ him) for that matter because he said his mom has a tendency to pressure and cry and tell all of their relatives when she can't get her way. In fact, in his brother's wedding, all of the aunts, his mom's friends, as well as me knows about his mom's issues w/ the wedding (she wants it in a church, the couple wants it to be civil wedding, the idea that she thinks that she must be consulted and give her approval before the couple make a decision in the planning etc.) and since my man witnessed that first hand, and the fact that his mom tends to be very controlling - he never wants to include her in the planning of a wedding, or any major decisions in his life. I always though that both sets of parents are somehow included one way or the other on the whole thing – be it large or small. However, my man doesn’t like his mom to be involved in planning (or anything that has to do w/ him) for that matter because he said his mom has a tendency to pressure and cry and tell all of their relatives when she can’t get her way.

In fact, in his brother’s wedding, all of the aunts, his mom’s friends, as well as me knows about his mom’s issues w/ the wedding (she wants it in a church, the couple wants it to be civil wedding, the idea that she thinks that she must be consulted and give her approval before the couple make a decision in the planning etc.) and since my man witnessed that first hand, and the fact that his mom tends to be very controlling – he never wants to include her in the planning of a wedding, or any major decisions in his life.

]]> By: truefirstedition http://www.laceweddingdress.org/questions/to-what-extent-is-the-grooms-mother-generally-involved-in-wedding-planning/comment-page-1#comment-330 truefirstedition Sat, 28 Nov 2009 01:50:23 +0000 http://www.laceweddingdress.org/questions/to-what-extent-is-the-grooms-mother-generally-involved-in-wedding-planning#comment-330 She's involved to whatever extent she's paying for. If she's contributing half the funds for the wedding, she gets half the say. Whoever holds the purse strings makes the decisions. If she's not paying for anything, then she's involved to whatever extent the person paying (bride and groom, bride's parents, whoever) feels comfortable having her involved. She’s involved to whatever extent she’s paying for. If she’s contributing half the funds for the wedding, she gets half the say. Whoever holds the purse strings makes the decisions.

If she’s not paying for anything, then she’s involved to whatever extent the person paying (bride and groom, bride’s parents, whoever) feels comfortable having her involved.

]]> By: PugMom http://www.laceweddingdress.org/questions/to-what-extent-is-the-grooms-mother-generally-involved-in-wedding-planning/comment-page-1#comment-329 PugMom Sat, 28 Nov 2009 00:56:05 +0000 http://www.laceweddingdress.org/questions/to-what-extent-is-the-grooms-mother-generally-involved-in-wedding-planning#comment-329 In my personal opinion, the grooms mother should have just as much say as the bride's mother. It's an equal partnership between the bride and groom, why should one side have more input than the other. In my personal opinion, the grooms mother should have just as much say as the bride’s mother. It’s an equal partnership between the bride and groom, why should one side have more input than the other.

]]> By: Luv2Answer http://www.laceweddingdress.org/questions/to-what-extent-is-the-grooms-mother-generally-involved-in-wedding-planning/comment-page-1#comment-328 Luv2Answer Sat, 28 Nov 2009 00:38:25 +0000 http://www.laceweddingdress.org/questions/to-what-extent-is-the-grooms-mother-generally-involved-in-wedding-planning#comment-328 She isn't. She isn’t.

]]> By: Mrs.G to be 6/20/09 :) http://www.laceweddingdress.org/questions/to-what-extent-is-the-grooms-mother-generally-involved-in-wedding-planning/comment-page-1#comment-327 Mrs.G to be 6/20/09 :) Sat, 28 Nov 2009 00:06:10 +0000 http://www.laceweddingdress.org/questions/to-what-extent-is-the-grooms-mother-generally-involved-in-wedding-planning#comment-327 They are usually not involved much. Traditionally, they pay much less than the Brides family therefore, have less say in the plans. Its typical for the grooms family to sort the rehearsal dinner, possibly honeymoon, bouquets and transportation. My in laws are doing all this. My FMIL is not very involved though. I am currently living in England but getting married back home ( USA) so its very hard for even me to plan overseas. Its even harder for her to try and get involved. However, I try and include her in everything. Whenever I do something wedding related over here ( i.e. picking BMs dresses and going to wedding fairs) she has come with me. Basically, I think people will be as involved as they want to be. Some people are cursed with a controlling FMIL and some with ones that dont support the union... i think my FMIL is right in the middle and im happy shes been so supportive and stayed out of the way because between me and my mom...its covered! They are usually not involved much. Traditionally, they pay much less than the Brides family therefore, have less say in the plans. Its typical for the grooms family to sort the rehearsal dinner, possibly honeymoon, bouquets and transportation. My in laws are doing all this. My FMIL is not very involved though. I am currently living in England but getting married back home ( USA) so its very hard for even me to plan overseas. Its even harder for her to try and get involved. However, I try and include her in everything. Whenever I do something wedding related over here ( i.e. picking BMs dresses and going to wedding fairs) she has come with me. Basically, I think people will be as involved as they want to be. Some people are cursed with a controlling FMIL and some with ones that dont support the union… i think my FMIL is right in the middle and im happy shes been so supportive and stayed out of the way because between me and my mom…its covered!

]]> By: ursaitaliano70 http://www.laceweddingdress.org/questions/to-what-extent-is-the-grooms-mother-generally-involved-in-wedding-planning/comment-page-1#comment-326 ursaitaliano70 Fri, 27 Nov 2009 23:51:49 +0000 http://www.laceweddingdress.org/questions/to-what-extent-is-the-grooms-mother-generally-involved-in-wedding-planning#comment-326 My husband and I are the parents of the groom. The engagement was announced to us over a year ago. We were surprised as we didn't even know our son was in a serious relationship! He is 30 now. We retired and moved out of state south over 500 miles from where he is living. They visited once and on their second visit surprised us with the an announcement. When they left I graciously told both of them to let us know how we could help. In October we received a copy of the invitation which was for a Disney cruise and Island wedding. No mention as to who on our side of the family was invited. (They did ask for a list of family members for announcements at one point but that was it.)The entire trip will cost close to $4500 at least. Most folks are unable to attend and we were informed that they just didn't care who attended or not because the wedding was for them. We were not told the bride's parents names or even where to contact them. Now we understand that they are planning a reception sometime after the honeymoon. No one has asked whether we would like to include members of our family on the list. We would not mind helping out with the wedding reception if we could invite at least a few of our family. Her mother is single and living with a man. I feel since she has gone ahead and planned everything that it is just plain inconsiderate. We have asked our son to invite them down to our home as a vacation weekend ( we live in a resort area). He said they are not retired and probably couldn't make it. I am upset that he himself and his fiance have not suggested a way for us to meet. The bottom line here is that the mother and father of the groom should at least be given a chance to offer the help. If they are totally excluded they will definitely be hurt and that's no way to start a marriage. Set up a dinner for both sets of parents and see if the groom's parents would like to invite some family members. They won't out shine the bride's mother if they have any kind of intelligence. My husband and I are the parents of the groom. The engagement was announced to us over a year ago. We were surprised as we didn’t even know our son was in a serious relationship! He is 30 now. We retired and moved out of state south over 500 miles from where he is living. They visited once and on their second visit surprised us with the an announcement. When they left I graciously told both of them to let us know how we could help. In October we received a copy of the invitation which was for a Disney cruise and Island wedding. No mention as to who on our side of the family was invited. (They did ask for a list of family members for announcements at one point but that was it.)The entire trip will cost close to $4500 at least. Most folks are unable to attend and we were informed that they just didn’t care who attended or not because the wedding was for them. We were not told the bride’s parents names or even where to contact them. Now we understand that they are planning a reception sometime after the honeymoon. No one has asked whether we would like to include members of our family on the list. We would not mind helping out with the wedding reception if we could invite at least a few of our family. Her mother is single and living with a man.
I feel since she has gone ahead and planned everything that it is just plain inconsiderate. We have asked our son to invite them down to our home as a vacation weekend ( we live in a resort area). He said they are not retired and probably couldn’t make it. I am upset that he himself and his fiance have not suggested a way for us to meet. The bottom line here is that the mother and father of the groom should at least be given a chance to offer the help. If they are totally excluded they will definitely be hurt and that’s no way to start a marriage.
Set up a dinner for both sets of parents and see if the groom’s parents would like to invite some family members. They won’t out shine the bride’s mother if they have any kind of intelligence.

]]> By: angelbaby http://www.laceweddingdress.org/questions/to-what-extent-is-the-grooms-mother-generally-involved-in-wedding-planning/comment-page-1#comment-325 angelbaby Fri, 27 Nov 2009 23:04:28 +0000 http://www.laceweddingdress.org/questions/to-what-extent-is-the-grooms-mother-generally-involved-in-wedding-planning#comment-325 I think she can become involded when inviting his side of the family is concerned.Other then that I think it is entirely up to you and the groom to deal with the wedding planning.But generally it is really all up to the bridezilla..lol I think she can become involded when inviting his side of the family is concerned.Other then that I think it is entirely up to you and the groom to deal with the wedding planning.But generally it is really all up to the bridezilla..lol

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