10 Ways To Get Your Fiance Involved In The Wedding Planning Process

Let’s face it, the wedding planning process is geared toward the female psyche. Why else would there be so much emphasis on the elements of colors, flowers, emotions, fashion and cake? (Okay, maybe the guys can embrace the cake idea, but forget the rest!)

If you’re one of those lucky gals whose fiancé wants to have input on everything from choosing linens to the height of the heel on your pump, then read no further. Give your honey his wedding to-do list and go get a manicure. If you’d like your Price Charming a little more involved, however, then try the following.

1. Ask yourself why you want your fiancé involved. Is it because you feel it demonstrates how much he loves you, or simply because the task overwhelms you and you want help? The answer to this question will determine how you will ask your fiancé to be involved. Is it important to you that he have input into which photographer you choose or would you rather his assistance be in a more detailed-oriented realm (like picking people up at the airport or making sure all the vendors are paid on time)?

2. Keep your wedding planning conversations with him brief. He probably wants to be involved, but an hour of debating the merits of freesias or daisies in your bouquet will have his eyes glazing over. When his input is desired, keep the chat to 15 minutes. If nothing is resolved, bring the topic to the table the next day. If nothing else, you’ll wear him down from sheer tenacity. 

3. At the beginning of the planning process, ask him which aspects of the planning he wants to be in charge of. This will allow him to select areas that interest him (saying selecting a DJ verses choosing cutsie wedding favors). 

4. Get him involved in the selection of food and alcoholic beverages. If you make a “date” out of tastings, he’ll be happy to go along. And the old adage is still true–the way to a man’s heart (or at least keeping his interest) is through his stomach. 

5. Narrow down his choices to two or three before asking for his input. Present him with any more choices of photographers and his eyes will glaze over looking at all the samples. 

6. Whatever you do, ALWAYS give him say in his wedding day attire. No matter how reluctant he is to participate in the other aspects of wedding planning, more than likely he’s going to balk at you telling him what to wear. 

7. If he tells you to simply delegate some vendors/tasks to him, then do so willingly, but be sure you give him ones that align with his interests. If he’s like most men, he’ll be more invested in looking for the DJ, wedding-day transportation, arranging the rehearsal dinner and tuxes than shopping for flower girl dresses. Most guys will want to have a say in their honeymoon destination, so you might want to have him come up with options for that too. 

8. Let him know you value his opinion. He just wants you to be happy, and he may think that the way to make that happen is to defer to you on all of the decisions. If you tell him that’s not the blessing he imagines it to be and that you’re excited to have his input, then he’ll be more prone to offer it. Caveat to this: you’re going to need to listen to his input and honor his suggestions from time to time! 

9. Make it easy for him to participate. Make sure you have a mutually-agreed upon system for organizing the wedding planning so he’s not off doing one thing while you’re doing something counterproductive to it. 

10. Remember to keep dating your fiancé during the wedding planning process. Sure you’re excited and maybe the wedding day is all you think about, but maybe you should relegate some of that chit chat to conversations with your mother and bridesmaids. Set aside at least one evening a week for a “No Wedding Talk” date night. He’ll be much more interested if you don’t flood him with wedding talk 24/7.

7 Highly Effective Habits For The Wedding Planning Process

Yes, these habits are also about how to help you keep close tabs on your wedding dollars!  Without proper planning and communication, you could easily find yourself stuck spending more than you wanted to. Make these 7 Effective Habits part of your Wedding Planning Process and the outcome is sure to be exactly what you wanted your wedding day to be!

1. Don’t Procrastinate

We certainly can’t stress this morsel of wisdom enough. You’ll enjoy your wedding far more if you’re not cramming everything into the last two months. It’s a tad bit difficult to write romantic wedding vows when you’ve waited until the night before the wedding to put pen to paper.

2. Find the right Wedding Planning Guide Book

Being organized is key, not only to getting things done but to saving money, and there is just too many parts to the planning of a wedding that it wouldn’t be smart or cost effective to try to think of all the the various details you need to handle by yourself. I highly recommend finding a Wedding Planning Guide Book to walk you through this! There are many good guides out there, but two specifically have passed our test of being a true value. Please see the review of our Top 2 Wedding Planning Guides at our online magazine YourWeddingDollars.com that we recommend to help you with this endeavor. Both these guides cover everything that needs to be planned and organized including timelines and budgets and they help you with ways to find the best deals.

3. Schedule Planning Time

Be sure to schedule meeting times with each other to discuss the details of the wedding: the schedule, the budget, the vendors, etc. Be diligent about keeping these appointments with each other. This is the beginning of another important marriage building skill-shared decision-making.

4. Communicate & Compromise

You’ll definitely have the opportunity to familiarize yourselves with the delicate arts of communication and compromise. You’re designing a wedding that suits the two of you, while taking into account the needs of your families and guests. Through this process of planning and compromise you will learn new ways of communicating with each other, as well as discover areas where it is difficult for you to express yourselves.

Establish a daily ritual to discuss your feelings and share your thoughts. Even if you only have time for a five-minute chat. It is the consistency, not the quantity of conversation that counts.

5. Share the Tasks & Delegate

Long gone are the days when the groom took a back seat and let his rosy-cheeked bride make all the decisions. Welcome to the 21st century. Couples are now splitting the list in half. Brides rejoice! Two people dividing the lengthy task list will not only reduce stress for you, it allows the groom, traditionally the most ignored person in the entire affair, to participate in his own wedding. A novel concept, we know.

Above and beyond the professional help you hire, create a wedding support network for yourself. Make a list with your fiancé of the various friends and family who might want to be involved with your wedding. Give each of them a task, stated as clearly and specifically as possible. Call them regularly to give them your appreciation and to check on how their project is coming along.

6. Be Assertive

Communicate your wishes clearly and tactfully to wedding professionals, friends and family members. Practice saying “no” and using phrases like, “we have discussed this and we feel that” It’s your wedding and don’t you forget it.

7. Take Care of Yourself

Pay attention to the essentials of good health. Avoid caffeine, sugar, alcohol and nicotine, which put unnecessary strain on both body and mind. Eat more vegetables, fruits, whole grains and fish. Get a full night’s sleep to revitalize. Dreaming releases the accumulated stress of the day and stabilizes the brain waves. Exercise is the best source of stress reduction known to man. The endorphins released in even a moderate amount of aerobic exercise can fight depression and elevate the mood.

To keep up with more ideas on how take care of yourself go to YourWeddingDollar.com’s Health & Beauty section.